Many people are concerned about their love life prospects as they approach the idea of having an ostomy. I’ve talked about it about my experiences in previous blog posts, Brenda Elsagher has written an entire book about it, and there are numerous other people shouting from the tops of their social media lungs about dating, getting married, and being intimate with their partners. So I think it’s safe to say that having, finding, and maintaining love with an ostomy is absolutely, 100% possible.

Valentine’s day can bring about all kinds of emotions. Whether you’re in love or want to be in love, it’s probably on your mind a little bit extra this week so I thought it would be fun to talk about love, with a little twist.

Valentine’s Day Challenge

Valentine’s day is usually about expressing love to your partner, or, if you don’t have a partner it’s about being aware that you don’t have one, right? This year, I challenge you to focus on expressing love to yourself – ostomy and all.

We all have our ostomies for a reason. Cancer, IBD, FAP, Hirschprung’s Disease, accidents – there’s always a reason, and it’s always (I think) to help give us an improved quality of life or to give us the opportunity to be alive. Regardless, of the reason we find ourselves living life with an ostomy, it can be hard to accept and adapt to. It can be hard to love our bodies, especially in a society that places a ton of merit on 6-pack abs and other physical appearances. Though it can be hard, it is possible, and it is worth striving toward. It may sometimes feel like they’ve betrayed us, but they’ve also endured SO MUCH. We can choose to focus on the betrayal, or we can choose to focus on the achievements.

Wherever you’re at in your ostomy journey, I encourage you to take a moment this Valentine’s day to give yourself, and your ostomy, a little bit of love. I challenge you to write down at least one positive thing, one thing you love, about your ostomy and/or your life with an ostomy. It can be big or small, but every step toward loving yourself and accepting your ostomy begins with looking for the positives. My experience is that choosing to see the positives makes life so much more fun to live, and I don’t think I’m the only one.

My Ostomy Changed the Course of my Life – In a Good Way

Since it’s my challenge, it’s only fair that I start. My ostomy changed so much more than my anatomy. It “cured” my IBD, sure, but it also changed the course of my life on a macro level. The experiences I went through, particularly during the flare that resulted in my ostomy surgery, gave me the opportunity to reassess who I was, who I wanted to be, and how I wanted to live my life. I love who I am today so. much. more. than I loved who I was before. As I reflect, I can see that a lot of that hard course-shifting work was done because I was propelled into it when I found myself getting an ostomy. On a micro level, something I feel so grateful for and love about my ostomy is that it 100% behaved for this morning’s pouch change!

Something extra that I love about living my life with my ostomy is that adapting to life with an ostomy inspired me to build this website and blog which has enriched both my life and the lives of many other ostomates and readers, like you. So here’s a big thank you and a whole lot of love for you!

Now it’s your turn, leave a comment below and write down one thing you love about your ostomy and/or your life with an ostomy. If you don’t have an ostomy, you probably know someone who does and can do this exercise by writing down something you love about them having an ostomy.